Authenticity

How do you think we can find the path to our true authentic self? Are some people just born with it? You would assume that, wouldn't you? I mean, we meet some people who just seem to have it all together and they speak their piece as though it were "The Word". And, they seem to believe it, right? I don't know about you, but I've always wondered just who these people really are and WTF enables them to have that self confidence.

Most of my life has been spent in awe of these people and not so much wishing I were like them, but just sort of wondering why I was not? How did I manage to miss that boat? Usually, I just figure that I was simply preoccupied with other issues like how can I keep myself relatively sane, and therefore, not focused on the issues that really mattered. You know, ..career...life goals...financial stability, Life 101, etc.,etc.,etc.

Recently, I had a wonderful visit with my son and his family, which includes my, near perfect, grandchildren. During the visit, it became necessary to assist their sweet, ancient dog, Syd, in her escape from this earthly plane to a better, and less painful, resting place. It was difficult for everyone, but especially so for my 9 year old grandson, Finley. He struggled with the idea of putting Syd down and made a strong statement about the fact that we didn't do this to people, so why would we do it to dogs.
He referred to the vet as a dog killer. Much as I wanted to argue that point, I understood how he felt and truthfully, as nine year old, I probably would have felt the same way. It was arranged for the vet to come to the house to put Syd down on Friday and my son and his wife talked with Fin and let him know that he had an option of going to spend the night with a friend. We all tried to help him understand that he didn't have to be there and it would be totally ok for him to say goodbye to Syd before he left for camp that morning. He remained undecided until Friday morning.

When we woke up, he came and got in the bottom bunk with me, and I asked him if he knew what he wanted to do. His answer amazed me. "Syd was here when I was born, right Grandma?" "Right", I responded. "Well, since she was here when I was born, I want to be with her when she dies." Whoa! That comes from a nine year old? Is that not totally profound? Did he maybe skip to Life 102 in that moment? All, I know is that, in that moment, he became one of my heros.

So, if at 9 years old, we still have a firm grasp on our authenticity, when do we begin to lose it? I think it's gradual, and I say this because I'm beginning to see a wee bit of it with my 13 year old granddaughter. It's like this precious child has been kidnapped by the teenage goblins. She seems to know what's happening, and she tries to recapture the innocence and sweetness of her 10 year old self, but the teen goblins just won't allow that on any permanent basis. So, to my way of thinking, this is the first step into the inauthentic zone.

From there, it just seems to go downhill. At least for quite a few years. The "outside" dominates us and we almost cringe from our authentic selves because we are so afraid we won't fit in or the "important" people won't like us. We get so stuck with what we think we should be that we forget who we are.

Suppose we just declare a re-authenticity day. Actually, it may need to be a week, or even a month...maybe even longer. Let's say we allow ourselves however much time we need to reclaim our own authenticity. Maybe we could start by recapturing our nine year old selves and just listen to the speakings of our heart. All we need to do is make the jump from Life 101 to Life 102. That's where our real selves are waiting.

Can you imagine what a beautiful world we might create?