Surrender

OK.....I surrender. What are you surrendering to, you might, understandably, ask. And, probably, you would expect a fairly simple reply, right? Ah, sorry to say, it ain't that easy. My brother shared a wonderful quote, and I'm not even sure where it came from, but does it really matter? "The creative process is a process of surrender...not control." Now, isn't that just so powerful? As a bit of a control freak, and I need to take a quick minute to explain that it's not like I want to control anyone...I just refuse to let anyone control me. Now, can it, occasionally, become more overtly controlling? Yeah,probably so, but the intent never waivers. OK? : ) So, I'm totally good with surrendering to the arteest in me, but in the past 2 days, I'm realizing that I must also surrender to the sheer angst I feel about our country. I woke up Friday morning and saw the horrific slaughter in Aurora, CO. My first reaction was to feel the pain of the parents and other loved ones who lost their special somebody. My second reaction was to strike out at the fucked up gun laws in this country. And, thirdly, I just felt an intense sadness for all of us who are caught up in this horror. I haven't spent a whole lot of time watching TV because they go way beyond the pale in their competition to come up with the most eye witnesses or who can best invade the privacy of the families and friends...or just plain speculate. I do so despise their constant, irrelevant speculations. But, I have also been reading posts and comments to the postings and this is what brings me to just surrender to it all. Yes, I believe we need to pull together and rewrite our gun laws. I'm pretty sure our forefathers didn't consider the possibility of automatic weapons and I'm pretty sure no one needs them to protect their home, children, livestock, whatever. As much as I dislike guns, I get that some people like to hunt and some feel the need of having a gun to protect whatever they feel needs protecting. I don't like it, but I surrender to it. One may argue the point that had this been a Muslim or a black man, there would have been a totally different reaction, this is true...no point in arguing it. Others say that we, as a nation, wouldn't have reacted as strongly if those killed or injured were of a different color. Personally, I think that's race baiting. The victims were black, white and all shades in between. There are those who attack the film and the violence it contains and yes, there is that, but how many violent films have been out there for a very long time? At least, Batman, is about good winning over bad. What happened is so simple that it's really difficult for us to comprehend. A very sick young man decided that his life sucked, so he dreamed up this scheme to make it count for something. And, he did just that. This is why I surrender. There will always be sick men, and women, in our world and we are totally at their mercy. Could we change it? Yes, we can make stricter gun laws, but always, where there's a will, there's a way. It can happen at anytime and any place. I surrender to the uncertainties of life. I surrender to the vast differences of who we are as a nation, world citizens and, more basically, human beings. I surrender my belief that I, or my peeps, are always right...and I hate to say "right", maybe correct is a better work, but WTF...I surrender to that. There is right and there is wrong, and I even surrender to that. We are ONE country and we can choose to pull together or we can allow ourselves to be torn apart. You may hate what I believe and I may hate what you believe, but given the latest tragedy in our country, can we not ignore the media and just surrender to the concept that we are Americans? Can we not surrender our hatred and our bias and just work it out? If we can find a way to do this, maybe it would bring something good from this tragedy. It's worth a try. Don't you think?